FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Midnight Zoomies Logistics is delighted to announce the acquisition of a second laundry basket, bringing the total size of its fleet to two vehicles. The purchase marks a significant step in the company’s growth and is expected to improve capacity by roughly one hundred percent.
A new era
The new basket was acquired in a quiet transaction in the bathroom, where it had been abandoned beside a pile of towels. It is slightly larger than the old basket, and has a lid, which we regard as a premium feature. Sergeant Tumble inspected it for twelve minutes before climbing in and refusing to leave.
What it means for customers
With two vehicles, the company can now deliver to two locations at once. In practice, this means that parcels will be taken to the kitchen and the bedroom simultaneously, though the second basket will probably remain in the hallway while the courier takes a nap.
Features of the new vehicle
- Capacity: up to three medium parcels or one cat
- Suspension: soft, owing to a damp towel
- Navigation: by sound, smell and habit
- Top speed: determined by how hard you push
- Special feature: a hole in the side, from which Parcel can see the world
Comments from leadership
“This is a bold move,” said Sergeant Tumble, in a statement delivered by staring at a wall. “We have always believed that the future of logistics lies in wicker. With a second basket, we are poised to take on any parcel, so long as it is light and not fragile.”
Head of Fleet Noodle added, “I have been dreaming of this day for years. I intend to name the new basket Gerald. Or Brenda. I have not yet decided.”
Looking ahead
The company intends to continue its expansion with further purchases, including a small tin and a shoe. Analysts predict strong growth in the shoe sector, where there is already considerable demand.
About Midnight Zoomies Logistics
Midnight Zoomies Logistics is a fictional courier company serving a home near you. It delivers at 3 AM because that is when its staff are awake.
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