The situation
In March, following a weekend of heavy rain, the courier team found itself with a backlog. The spare room was filled with parcels, boxes and other items that had gathered over several weeks. By Monday morning, there were sixty parcels in the room and no sign of a plan.
Initial response
Sergeant Tumble convened a meeting at 3 AM, as is traditional. The meeting lasted nine seconds, during which she looked at the parcels, then at the door, and then at Noodle. Noodle said, “That’s a lot of parcels.” The meeting was adjourned.
Phase one: assessment
The team first attempted to sort the parcels by size. This lasted about four minutes, until a small cat named Biscuit climbed into the smallest box and fell asleep. The team then attempted to sort by colour, but a dispute arose over whether brown is a colour.
Phase two: delivery
In the second phase, couriers took parcels one by one from the room and placed them in other rooms. Over the course of the night, this resulted in the following:
- Eleven parcels in the kitchen
- Nine in the hallway
- Fourteen on the stairs
- Three in the bath
- Twenty three under the bed
Phase three: review
By dawn, the spare room was empty and the rest of the house was full. The human woke, walked downstairs and was met by a wall of boxes. She said a word that we shall not repeat. She then sat down on a box and laughed.
Outcome
The backlog was cleared in a single night, with only minor damage to a lamp, a plant and the dignity of the sofa. Customer satisfaction was reported as “mixed”, but the delivery rate was excellent.
Lessons learned
First, a backlog is a state of mind. Second, a parcel moved is a parcel delivered, regardless of where. Third, the spare room is best left as a place of mystery.
We thank our staff for their hard work and our customers for their patience, which they showed by sleeping through it.
