Hiring a night courier is a serious decision, and one that should not be taken lightly, unless you are the courier, in which case you should treat everything lightly, including the furniture.
One: they work at their own pace
A night courier will arrive when ready. This may be 2 AM or it may be 4.40 AM. In either case the arrival will be announced by a clattering sound and a brief pause as the courier admires the effect.
Two: they do not use doors
Doors are an obstacle, and a good courier will go through them with a firm shove or a sudden dash. If the door is closed, the courier will stand in front of it and shout. If the door is open, the courier will stand in the doorway and think.
Three: they have preferences
Each courier has favourite routes, favourite hiding places and favourite objects. Sergeant Tumble, for example, has a great fondness for socks, which she delivers to the bedroom at all hours.
Four: they do not tolerate delay
If you are slow to respond, the courier will take matters into her own paws. This may include knocking an item off the table, pulling a cord or sitting on your chest until you rise.
Five: they require refreshment
A good courier needs to eat. Please leave out a small saucer of food near the delivery zone. If you do not, the courier will help herself to whatever is in the bin.
Six: they are very thorough
Once a courier has made a delivery, she will check it carefully, sniffing each corner and testing each edge. She may then bat the parcel across the floor to test its durability. A parcel that survives is a parcel that deserves to be kept.
Seven: they are loyal
Despite the noise and the mess, a night courier is devoted to her work. She will deliver to you faithfully until the day she stops, and on that day she will sit on your lap and purr, and you will forgive her everything.
Conclusion
If you are ready for the adventure, contact our team. If you are not, you may wish to hire a day courier, though we cannot recommend one, as they are all asleep.
